Financial Plan

I'm going to start putting my money in CDs. That's right. Compact Discs. With my new financial plan I'm going to invest in thousands of those round, silvery circlets in hopes that in the near future we will suddenly have an incredible shortage of easily recordable media, and I will be the sole proprietor of all the compact discs in the world.

Banking on that fact, I'll be able to price-gouge to my heart's content. I'll accept trades, personal services, anything I deem worthy of the incredible price I'll charge for the CDs. In the process I'll become one of the most powerful men in the world, with riches only exceeded by those who invested in stocks. The makers of those antiquated holding mechanisms will be the most esteemed people in the world when all traditional holding cells, jails and prisons are rendered useless by the discovery of a tiny tool that can break anyone out of any cage if only the hands are free.

To recap, over the next few months I will be investing HEAVILY in CDs, and I would advise others to put their money in to stocks. The time is NOW.

That's the world I someday want to live in.