Stop

Using auto-tune on everything. We're sick of it, and it's making real singers few and far between. It doesn't make you a singer, it just makes you someone with access to the technology.

Acting like that word that starts with "N" in public. You're messing it up for the rest of us that actually act like we have some sense. Plus it's really not cool anyway. Acting goofy from time to time is straight, but for the most part you only attract unwanted attention from the "P" (olice) and by default, we catch the fallout as well.

Touching my hair. I don't even like it when you ask to touch my hair. It was funny years ago when I was like 3 and I didn't know any better, but now it's just ignorant. I don't really care if you've never felt anything like it, it's not my job to educate you on the ins and outs of African-American hair. And when you say, "it's not like you have any hair anyway" it just proves my earlier point about your ignorance.

Kicking my ankles if I run by you on the soccer field. It kinda hurts and it doesn't prove your defensive skills at all. You just look like a donkey.

Sending me chain e-mails that mainly have to do with conjecture, hoaxes or ridiculous warnings. I have a mailbox limit and I don't feel like taking the time to delete all your useless emails. (The sole exclusions for this are Aunts, Uncles and other assorted family members, just because I don't want to hate on them)

Quitting in the 89th minute if I'm beating you in FIFA. At least have the decency to do it before the 70th minute so I don't have to waste all my time mollywhopping you and then not get any credit for it.

Dialing my number accidentally and then not having the decency to explain that it was a mistake when I answer it. It happens more often than you think, and it's very annoying when it happens repeatedly without any apology.

Asking me if I know Steph and if he's cool. Yes I do. Yes he is. But that doesn't make me any cooler or different for knowing him. He's a ordinary dude who happens to be extraordinarily good at the sport of basketball due to a blessed combination of natural talent and very hard work. And maybe I could get you a signed picture, but I'm absolutely not going to bother myself or the man for one.

Finally (for now): Stop bothering me. No specifics here; if you bother me, stop it. Cease. Desist. No más. That is all.