Facebook is Better Now

Facebook chat sucks. Let's be honest. Nearly everyone (and by that, I mean everyone, I just don't like to make broad generalizations) has been on Facebook chat and been signed off at a "key" moment in the conversation. However, for the most part, the new Facebook is brilliant. The introduction of a tabbed browsing system, compartmentalized profile areas and an overall cleaner look makes the whole website that much better.

There are those detractors (read: those who can't cope with that fact that it might be a little easier to find information if it doesn't take 45 seconds to load a page) who prefer the old Facebook system. In that system, a person's whole life's information is jammed onto one page that takes way too long to load. I, for one, prefer to be able to find information immediately under clearly labeled tabs rather than be forced to scroll through 20 pages worth of useless information and ridiculous applications. If I want to see what applications a person has, I will click the applications tab. Simple, huh?

I wrote this post mainly to air my frustrations with the people who complain incessantly about the new Facebook. If you really hate it that much, do what the people who really and truly dislike it did and find a way around it. In a quick Google search I found hundreds of ways to get back to the old Facebook. So stop complaining, stop inviting me to Facebook groups and just click your mouse three times while reciting: "there's no place like Myspace".

The Sky Is Falling

The world is coming to an end.
Or at least people act like it is. Apparently, right now is "the worst financial crisis since The Great Depression", there's no gas anywhere, and Mongolia, American Samoa and a small city in Russia are going to bomb us right after Afghanistan, Krygyzstan, Iran, Japan and every single other "an" you can think of do. Auntie Anne's pretzels might even be on the warpath.

Can everybody just chill out? One of the reasons we have no gas in Charlotte is because as soon as we DO get gas, hundreds of people camp out, start filling gas cans, pouring gas in their mouths to spit into cups, hollowing out a false leg for extra gas storage and generally acting the fool. Yes, the banks are all merging and it is the start of a new financial age. But everyone freaking out is not going to change one thing on Wall Street, downtown Charlotte or anywhere important in finance.

However, with these freakouts, people start losing faith in regular stock, putting their money in oil, and then guess what? Gas prices go up again! No way... Cause has an effect??

My advice? Relax. Sit down. Take the bus to work if possible, drive if you have to, then come home, read the Bible, enjoy your family and friends and stop being so stressed. Who is freaking out going to help?

Warfare Pt. III

This is the third edition of my series waging imaginary war against very real, very tangible and defenseless creatures. Disclaimer: as stated in the previous posts, no animals were harmed in the writing of this post. Unless your cuddly animal, cat or 5-year-old decides to bump into me when I'm in a bad mood, they're probably safe.

Today's war will be waged against bunny rabbits. Yes, bunny rabbits. The sweet, vegetable-munching, beta-carotene ODers over which every animal activist and pretty girl seems to go ballistic. I am taking the torch from the Save Toby pioneers and carrying it myself for no fee. To pull all my thoughts together, I'm talking about kicking the fluff out of cute, cuddly bunny rabbits on a regular basis. Here's a sample scenario:

A few days ago I decided to enjoy a half-day in the forest during the weekend in order to enjoy nature and have a healthy snack while taking in the pleasant sensual bombardment that is the great outdoors. I spread a beautiful blanket sewn from Siamese cat fur in a clearing and decided to lie on my back and enjoy the sunshine that danced through the dense forest growth. As the light played about my features, I happened to catch a glimpse of a small, plump rabbit quietly observing me from the verdant undergrowth nearby.

I reached into my bag, pulling out a fresh bag of carrots I keep on hand for times such as this. Beckoning slowly to the little animal, I gently placed a carrot two yards away from my person and stepped back to give the Bugs Bunny look-a-like his space. Boldly, the tiny mammal raced up to the carrot and began to attack it with aplomb. Within the space of 60 seconds, the vegetable was gone, and the rabbit surreptitiously burped (an action I previously understood to be mainly a human feature). Wanting to test my limits without scaring the little creature, I dropped another carrot even closer to my feline-pelt domain and without pause, the rabbit seized it, devouring it even quicker than the first.

The greedy little lagomorph gazed up at me without fear, a pious look plastering its features. My heart was moved by the beauty of the situation, so my next step was clear. I stood upright, holding a carrot out at arms length, urging the rabbit to jump. I prepared myself, muscles loose but at the ready, and whistled for the creature to make his move. Suddenly, the bunny leaped, jaws outstretched for the waiting carrot and WHAM! I connected solidy with the rabbit's pliable ribcage. He flew squealing through the air, the perfect contact of my sublime side volley propelling him at air speeds previously unknown to rabbitkind. The rabbit's rapid trajectory was halted suddenly by the appearance of a massive oak tree, at which time, by all accounts, his life was extinguished immediately.

Satisfied by my forest excursion, I momentarily celebrated my mammalian "goal", packed up my things and returned to city life where I await my next foray into the woods in search of defenseless victims.

Footwear Update

I haven't talked about my kicks in a while, so I feel the need to update the 2.5 people that read my blog on my footwear situation. As I mentioned in my "Limited Is My Favorite Edition" post, limited is... my favorite edition. It can't be stated enough that I am a sucker for shoes that are stylish, have bright colors and come in short supply. Over the past few weeks I added three pairs of shoes to my wardrobe that do indeed fit all three qualifications. I've mentioned the red patent Supra Skytop NS pair that I got on my birthday, but the two most recent additions have yet to grace the pages of this humble blog.

As I mentioned before, I bought a pair of green camouflage Skytops a while ago. However, it turns out that they are too small for me, and I had to return them. When I went to return them, I was pleasantly surprised to arrive just as my favorite shoe store (whose name I will not mention to prevent biters and hypebeasts from knowing where I get my stuff) received a shipment of the new Supra "Teal Snake" Vaiders. Seeing them in person, I loved the color and styling, and decided to exchange them for my old camo Skytops.

A couple weeks later, I went by the store on my lunch break because I was bored, and happened to notice that the Supra Skytop Silver NS had received a significant price drop. I went back to work and consulted my brother, my parents, Sho and eBay on whether or not I should purchase them. After talking to my family and friend, I left the final decision up to eBay. I checked the prices of the shoes (which of course are limited edition, and won't be made anymore), and was shocked and awed at the astronomical fee for which they were selling online. My decision made, I shot straight to the store after work and purchased my newest pair of shoes.

As of this moment, I am placing myself on an enforced purchase hiatus. I'll be stacking chips and purchasing only necessities for a while. Hopefully no limited edition or extra fresh shoes come out in the next few weeks...

Not Another One

Ah, Signor Secco. For those of you who don't know/remember, my dislike of Juventus' Sporting Director Alessio Secco is well-chronicled. It would appear that he's now at his old ignorant ways again. Apparently dissatisfied with his previous brilliant purchases (see: Tiago, Boumsong, Sergio Almirón), Mr. Secco has decided to delve into the transfer market again for the January transfer window.

Goal.com reported earlier that Juventus plans to swoop for Bosnian/(possibly) German/Serbian/American central defender Neven Subotic from Dortmund and French striker Frederic Nimani of Monaco in the upcoming transfer window. The question that rings painfully in my mind is "Why Nimani?"

I wholeheartedly agree with the pursuit of Subotic, a strong, skilled young defender who seems set to have a very bright future. Subotic addresses the gap at centre back, he would slot well into the first team without much fuss, and he addresses the gap at centre back. The repetition of that phrase wasn't a mistake, I just feel the need to emphasize that Subotic's prospective purchase is out of necessity and is one that would benefit the side.

However, in my opinion, the interest in Frederic Nimani is unneeded, given the talent already at the disposal of the Bianconeri. Earlier in the summer, Juventus' purchase of Amauri was met with some opposition, given the presence of target strikers David Trezeguet and Vincenzo Iaquinta already in the team. In addition to the presence of forward Alessandro Del Piero and the return of Sebastian Giovinco as well as the younger prospects such as David Lanzafame coming back into the squad in the future, Amauri was seen as a surplus. However, Amauri has slotted well into the team, and acquitted himself brilliantly thus far. With Trezeguet's recent injury leaving him out for around 4 months, Juve currently has 4 healthy strikers on their books.

In my mind, Trezeguet's injury could be a blessing in disguise for Juventus. Giovinco has long begged for a chance to showcase his talents in the first team, and the absence of Trezeguet gives he and Amauri more of a chance to play. However, if Nimani is brought in, I believe it will not only hinder Giovinco's development, but may block Lanzafame's and/or other youngsters' re-entry into the team. Secco already has driven out Michele Paolucci and Antonio Nocerino, young players who were seen to have a bright future, and I fear this could be only the beginning.

Start Tinkering

Juventus' managerial figurehead, the silver-crowned Claudio Ranieri, is known as "The Tinkerman" in the footballing world. This moniker was bestowed upon him because of his overwhelming propensity for changing lineups, formations and tactics on a regular basis in the many teams of which he has been caretaker.

In my opinion, constant change in a squad makes it very difficult for the team to gel and form a cohesive unit on the pitch. For the most part, I do believe Ranieri has done a good job with his rotation policy at Juventus, especially with the resources at his disposal. However, there is one glaring omission from the Juve rotation. My favorite miniscule maestro: Sebastian Giovinco.

After recalling Giovinco from loan at Empoli, my hopes (like most other Juve fans) were sky-high that Giovinco would be given a run in the first team in order to aid his development and showcase his talents to the world for the Juventus cause. Instead, Bianconeri supporters have been left wondering why our pocket dynamo rots on the bench, even as 36-year-old Pavel Nedved struggles through 3 games in 7 days.

As games pass and Giovinco remains on the bench, speculation increases about his frustrations and ongoing contract negotiations. The ever-present threat of Arsene Wenger and Arsenal poaching our brightest talent seems more realistic by the day. Something must be done, and the tiny talent must be given a chance in the Juve first team.

Let him play!!

Really Spain?

Spain has been a notoriously racially intolerant country for centuries. From the expulsion of the Moors from Central Iberia in 1212 to the expulsion of Jews from Spain in 1492, there are many instances of Spanish racism and general intolerance of different cultures. In the modern era, it would appear their viewpoint hasn't changed much.

Earlier today I read an article about rising Anti-Jewish and Anti-Muslim sentiment in Europe. Unsurprisingly, "positive views toward Jews outweighed negative ones in every European country surveyed but Spain." A whopping 46% of Spaniards held negative views toward Jews, compared to 36% of Polish and 34% of Russians.

I'm not surprised. Over the last few years, a few racial incidents have sprung up that give backbone to the statistics presented. Most recently, the Spanish Olympic basketball team was photographed before the Olympic Games in Beijing with their hands to their eyes, pulling the skin back in order to mimic the epicanthic fold that occurs widely in people of Central and Asian descent. Understandably, the Chinese response was less than favorable. Even before this incident, racist action out of Spain has reached the forefront of world news. Time after time, Black soccer players in Spain have had monkey sounds directed at them, had bananas thrown in their directions, been victims of racially derogatory comments and more. Even the Euro 2008-winning Spanish national team coach, Luis Aragonés was caught on tape in 2005, calling the French-Guadaloupian Thierry Henry "that black s**t".

The extent that racism is accepted in Spain is evident in the punishment imposed upon Aragonés after his off-color remark. Initially, the Spanish federation refused to discipline "El Viejo" (The Old Man), but after being urged to do so by Spain's anti-violence commission, decided to fine him a paltry 3000 Euros. This sum, the equivalent of around a day's wages for Aragonés, is a laughable punishment for such a racially insensitive remark coming from such a high-profile person.

Unless attitudes towards racism in Spain change, I wouldn't be surprised to see the percentage of negative views towards minorities go up in the next poll. It hasn't changed much in 9 centuries, who's to say it will start now?

Rogue Tech

This morning at around 3 AM I awoke to the sounds of what surely was a robot sent back in time from 1984 to murk me in my sleep. I jumped out startled out of my wits, looking around frantically to pinpoint the origin of the attack in order to properly make my defense. In my excitement I nearly fell out of the bed flat onto my face. I was unable to find the death-dealing android, but I did find the source of the terrifying noise.

Inexplicably, my printer was churning through some unbidden process as if it were 9 AM and I needed to make 20 copies of an important email. No paper came out, but the little monster made it seem that real work was being done.

This is not the first time my printer has started working on it's own. It's actions have lead me to believe that it has become self-aware and is working toward a mass technological agenda. First they disrupt our sleep, rendering us useless during the day. Then they get us while we're surrounded by tech-mology at work, sleepy and unable to defend ourselves. Finally, we'll be raised as live batteries for their new technology world. I vaguely remember part of that storyline from some movie called The Matrix, but I don't think anyone will notice.

BE WARNED!!! If your printer or any other piece of technology begins to act up in the next few days, be on your guard. Don't say I didn't warn you.

The Man From Negron

There have been reports streaming in from Chapel Hill, NC, Atlanta, GA and Greenville, NC of a figure flying about the streets and buildings terrorising citizens. Some believe it to be a large bird, others think it's a small plane, but I have surmised the truth. Andre Sherard is the Black Superman.

I began to have suspicions about Andre's true identity when he would often disappear for extended periods when we hung out. I wasn't sure where he was, but he would return out of breath, often with blood or rubble on his clothes. From the information I've gathered, Andre, or "Bizarro Negraro" as he tends to call himself, will swoop in on unsuspecting victims, "saving" them from some "fate" he has constructed in his own overactive and puny brain. These "rescues" will often end up in injury for the person being saved, destruction of public property, as well as general horror and disgust at simply seeing Negraro's perfectly coiffed perm.

The authorities have been notified, and the official advice for people wandering the streets is to stay inside if at all possible. If it is not an option for you to hole up in your abode, exercise extreme caution. If indeed you do run across the Ghetto Superman, avoid eye contact, act confidently and convey the appearance of being in charge of the situation. Eventually he will lose focus and drift off to play video games, juggle a soccer ball, go on AIM or stalk people on Facebook.

Shots Fired

This is a formal declaration of war against my good buddy Andre "I wish I was 3000" Sherard. Let it be known that this is in no way a war brought forth from malicious intent, just pure, unadultered hate (the good kind).

This war, should Andre choose to accept terms, will be a battle of wits, words and jokes. It begins tomorrow at 10:00 AM. Any submissions before that point will not be considered part of the war. Basically anything goes in this war.

For you Andre: Get it ready, get it ready, get it ready ready.