It Didn't Happen

I told myself I'd write every day. Or at least 3-4 times a week. I didn't tell my readers because I knew something like *this* might happen. I posted once, got excited about it, then got busy, lost my flame and I'm back again 2 weeks later in the same position.

Why don't I write? The combination of being busy at work, busy after work, NOT being busy at work, NOT being busy at work seriously screws with my writing "schedule". When I'm busy I have to focus my energies on actually doing my job or whatever extracurricular activity I have going on at that moment. When I'm not, I'm very good at diverting myself through video games, *gasp* reading, frolicking through these internets or any number of additional extracurricular activities.

The lack of energy/desire to tackle more serious blog topics also severely holds me back when I have less than adequate motivation to legitimately think through an issue and put it into succinct, logical arguments or analysis.

So what's going to drag me back to my blog regularly?

To be honest, I don't know. I love writing, and I love seeing consecutive posts on my page, but I have a wandering mind and it's very difficult to harness. The only thing I can say (again) is that I'll put forth a concerted effort to sit in front of the computer and actually put words on the page that mean something.

But don't quote me on it.

Dark Clouds With a Bit of Sun Peeking Through

Fair weather fan. Bandwagoner. Glory hunter. At this point I almost wish I could be called one of those names. That would mean my beloved Juventus had won a trophy in the recent past for me to gloat about and parade around as if the footballing world should kiss our respective Bianconeri toes.

Unfortunately it's not to be so. Juventus is dark days at the moment, and although it would be much too easy to despair, I refuse to let myself be dragged down by the pessimistic attitude that plagues many Tifosi.

Let's face the facts. We're out of the EURO Cup, a competition that holds no real significance in the grand scheme of things, but one that we really should have done MUCH better in considering the quality we do possess. We're currently floundering in Serie A due to a combination of a terrible start to the new year, some very unfortunate injuries, and a simple lack of "grinta", intestinal fortitude and, to put it frankly: balls. Our strongest goal threat, Fabio Quagliarella is out for the rest of the season due to an ACL tear suffered in the 4-1 drubbing by Parma. One of our strongest performers of the season thus far, Felipe Melo, seems to have reverted to his old ways and had another meltdown, while his counterpart Momo Sissoko has refused to play out of spite for not being considered first choice.

The evidence for crisis is piled as high as the tower of Babel once was. However, we can be thankful that Juventus has its own team of builders, quietly rebuilding the Old Lady back to what we faithful supporters are used to. Andrea Agnelli, Beppe Marotta and Gigi Delneri are working stolidly to create a team that is both balanced and in the mold of the Juventus tradition. Many have criticized the management team for some of the decisions they've made this season, but the fact remains that Juve will be a work in progress for years to come. The current backroom staff have already brought in players that will serve us loyally moving forward. Milos Krasic, Leonardo Bonucci and Alberto Aquilani are three of the names that come to mind readily. With these players in addition to the core Juventini, just a few pieces remain to up the squad to the next level.

Yes, much of the squad must be revamped (outside backs, cover for centre midfielders & Marchisio, and at least ONE world-class striker), but the important things is that the foundation for success has been laid down by the "triade" of Agnelli, Marotta and Delneri. As my good friend Adamo Digby says, "patience". The January transfer window is not over yet, neither is the season. The Old Lady has fallen and suffered some serious injuries, but she's a tough old bird. She'll outlive us all.

(Still) Sore Loser

I have an anger problem.

99% of the time, I'm the one of the happiest people you'll meet in life. I typically don't let most typical annoyances bother me, and I'm pretty hard to piss off, if I do say so myself.

Until I lose. I've visited and revisited my inability to cope with losing in a mature manner, but even though I've put significant (read: woosah)effort into adjusting my personality, I cannot get past the ridiculous competitiveness that drives me to best people in literally almost everything that can be quantifiably measured.

Last night while enjoying wings and a drink after playing soccer, I caught myself repeatedly checking the level of my friend's bottle to make sure he wasn't finishing his beverage before mine. I had twice the number of wings he had, but I still found myself rushing to finish my portion before he was done with his.

Recently, I've been increasingly unable to harness my anger while playing pickup soccer. If anything goes wrong, if I misplace a pass, or (Yah forbid) my team loses, I find myself descend into an incredibly pissy mood. More often than not I'm able to drag myself out of it by trying to enjoy my successes as much as I beat myself up about the failures, but my overly competitive side always kicks in when I try to rationalize staying happy.

As I continue to work on my competitiveness, my anger issue will surely become less serious. I'll never be able to fully stomach a loss or poor performance as I am somewhat of a perfectionist and that's my personality. However, moving forward, my goal is to be able to enjoy the bigger picture of what I'm doing; i.e. playing a sport I love, playing video game, or even simply enjoying a leisurely meal or drink (without competition) with friends.

What Can I Say?

Recently I've been struck with an increasing urge to get back on a regular writing schedule. My weekly article on Goal.com provides me with a basic outlet for my literary energies, but for the most part I need to sit down, quit being lazy and actually put (digital) pen to (virtual) paper.

My biggest problem with writing is Twitter. Not necessarily Twitter as a service, but the fact that it allows me the perfect outlet for my incredibly unfocused thought patterns. Whereas before I was forced to sit down and actually think through a 4-5 paragraph idea, crafting it into something legible and comprehensible, now I'm able to just blurt out quick sentences via Twitter and get my point across. This is both a blessing for me as well as a hindrance. I now have a legitimate outlet for my mental spasticity, but I rarely take the time to make myself write anything over a paragraph unless necessary.

This post is my first attempt to change all that. I'm not going to sit here and lie to whoever reads this and myself and say that I will write faithfully every day in 2011. We all know that's excrement from the posterior of a bovine male. However, I am putting forth a strong effort to corral the wayward thoughts flying around my head into a consistent and (hopefully) enjoyable product for my two-person audience to read.

That being said: Happy New Year!

In other news, Inter Milan still sucks, Juventus is my Old Lady for life and O'DOYLE RULES!! Urban Dictionary is your friend on the last one if you're halftarded.