Ballin With Barack

I am voting for Barack Obama. My reasons, however, are not what you might think. I have a strong inclination that in the future, all international disagreements will be settled by one-on-one basketball games to 21 between countries' respective heads of state. Bearing that in mind, how could anyone even think to vote for McCain over Obama? In fact, I don't know how they've gone this long without battling it out on the blacktop. I know Sarah Palin played basketball in high school and she could give McCain some pointers on his J, but there's no way Johnny boy could match up with Barack "All Day and All Night" Obama.

On a similar note, does it feel any better to have your shot packed by the future president in a pickup game, or does the sting of rejection still burn like a stove top turned on Hi? Do you run around town exclaiming "Barack Obama put his presidential junk in my face and dunked on me!!", or do you hide in the nearest locker room, sobbing and hoping Kennedy's assassin is resurrected? If you foul Obama a bit too hard does Secret Service jump down from the backboard and summarily pull your spine out, or are you free to hack-a-Barack until Palin's cows come home?

If you vote for McCain and the U.S. becomes a terrorist state because ole John couldn't handle Ahmadinejad's drive and pull-up jumper, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Lebron James/Dwyane Wade for President and VP, 2032!!