Wednesday, September 17, 2008
This morning at around 3 AM I awoke to the sounds of what surely was a robot sent back in time from 1984 to murk me in my sleep. I jumped out startled out of my wits, looking around frantically to pinpoint the origin of the attack in order to properly make my defense. In my excitement I nearly fell out of the bed flat onto my face. I was unable to find the death-dealing android, but I did find the source of the terrifying noise.
Inexplicably, my printer was churning through some unbidden process as if it were 9 AM and I needed to make 20 copies of an important email. No paper came out, but the little monster made it seem that real work was being done.
This is not the first time my printer has started working on it's own. It's actions have lead me to believe that it has become self-aware and is working toward a mass technological agenda. First they disrupt our sleep, rendering us useless during the day. Then they get us while we're surrounded by tech-mology at work, sleepy and unable to defend ourselves. Finally, we'll be raised as live batteries for their new technology world. I vaguely remember part of that storyline from some movie called The Matrix, but I don't think anyone will notice.
BE WARNED!!! If your printer or any other piece of technology begins to act up in the next few days, be on your guard. Don't say I didn't warn you.